When my own kids were growing up, I was, in many ways, a strict disciplinarian. I set the limits -- tried to do so using safety and fairness as the guide, and after explaining them to the kids, kept them whenever possible. It was definitely a 'parent in charge' style of life around the house. Choices for the kids were at a very simple level.
Joanna and Sham's household is much more kid-oriented in that the children have much more input in what goes on either for themselves or for the adults. It is certainly not the way I was raised, nor the way our kids were raised, but it works for them. There ARE many different ways to raise children and while some are obviously not good for the kids in the long (or short) term, the majority of parenting styles which caring and intelligent adults adopt, nurture healthy and happy kids. Every path has some bumps, but for the most part, it goes along quite smoothly.
But those few bumps. Kieran is 4 and has definite opinions about things, sometimes at odds with what the adult supervising has in mind. My fall-back position is to be a strict rules enforcer (Driver) and have that run over people, but that is not the way K has been raised, so something has to change. I cannot change the situation, but I can change my reaction to it. I told K that Oma will not yell or argue when he says 'no' or does not want to comply, she will walk away. The two instances where I have used that in the last 2 days, he has not ended up screaming or crying, but cooperated after a few minutes. I did not make a big deal about his change, but reinforced that Oma loves him very much. Admittedly, these were situations where walking out of the room was possible and there will, of course, be times when that is not possible. How will I deal with those -- don't know yet, but I know it will be with a love for the child foremost in my heart.
Today's photo is from the Museum of Natural History -- awe inspiring!
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